Burning House

The last Sunday night of each month our church has a service called "Burning House". It is a time when we come together, worship and take communion/Lord's Supper. The sole purpose of this time is to focus on the Lord's Supper and contemplate what it means. The name Burning House means that we are places(houses) where the Lord dwells and that we want to be consumed (burning) with His Spirit. To put it simply, these are propably some of the most meaningful and inspiring times I have ever spent in a church. Tonight was no exception. Worship was outstanding - then our pastor discussed the Lords supper and what it meant, this too was great. We then served each other the Lords Supper. We had grape juice and bread on the table and shared it amongst ourselves. While we were doing this we had a young man who did pottery come up on stage and made a vase on the pottery wheel. He did the whole thing, from putting the lump of clay on the wheel until it was finished. While he was doing this our pastor spoke of the scriptures relating to this and what this meant.

A few things really hit me. What really struck me is where the Bible says that He (God) is the potter and we are the clay. He went on to say that no piece of clay tells the potter what it wants to be made into, the potter decides what will be a bowl, what will be a vase, an ash tray etc.. If God is the potter and we are the clay, then the same is true with us. He will shape us into whatever He wants us to be, to be used for whatever He wants us to do. He also went on to say that the clay must centered on the pottery wheel. If it isn't it will be lopsided and can't be used. In the same way we must be centered in order to be shaped. The final thing that impacted me was that pottery is both intimate and messy. The potter is totally involed with touching and watching what he is doing. He is completely involved in the process, he doesn't just put the clay on the wheel and leave it. He shapes and straightens and does what he needs to do in order for it to become what he wants it to be. Pottery is also messy - it splatters, gets on the potters hands and clothes. It's the same with us, God is intimately involed in our lives and cares - even when it doesn't seem like it. But at times it can be very messy becoming what God wants us to be.

I left church very encouraged and lifted up. However, all day I felt this incredible burden for some folks that we know. I have mixed emotions - on one hand I love what I have felt and experienced in the Lord today. On the other hand I am sadden by some of the circumstances and events that are going on in our friends lives. The man who introduced us to our old church, Ferrell is sick with cancer and is expected to die within the next 48 hours. He and his family have done so much for us that I can't even begin to say. Our friend Ernest goes in for surgery tomorrow to have a tumor and parts of his liver and bladder removed. He'll be in the hospital for a least two weeks. They won't know if he has cancer until they do the surgery. Again, he's another person who means alot to us. Kathy's customer Mary - lost her husband yesterday. We know a couple who each lost thier father within the last month. We have a friend here and Ron has a friend from high school whose marriages have been destroyed and it appears that divorces are ineveitable. I am not trying to be depressing and I know we all know people in similar or worse circumstances. My point is simply this. I feel and sense God's presence so strongly and it is wonderful but at the same time I feel sad and hurt for those I know who are hurting. I also know that all I can do is pray for them, give them my support and help them when it is appropriate. I know I can't fix their circumstances, so I won't even go there. There are some things that only God can do, not me.

One of the things I want this blog to be is 'real' - it's important to me for alot reasons. Basically I can't stand fake people or fake religion. I've had enough of both to last a lifetime. I'm not trying to make myself into something I'm not or try sound holy or self-righteous - cause that I'm not. Most of you who are reading this know me very well and you'd see through that in a second. I'm not the bible thumping, scripture quoting type - never have been and never will be. I just want to be a real person with a real faith. I believe that I'm like that lump of clay on the potter's wheel - still a work in progess. Still being molded, still being shaped into whatever the potter wants it to be. Like I said it's a messy process - seeing people that you care for hurt, is messy but somehow it helps shape you into becoming what you're supposed to be. I trust that the Potter knows what He's doing.