3 Hour Tour

Ok this is a really sad confession. I wasted 2 hours of my life the other night watching a new TV series called the “Real Gilligan’s Island”. For those of you who haven’t heard, it’s a reality show based on the old Gilligan’s Island TV series. They actually had auditions and cast people in the role of each person from the original show. But they had to be the real life counterpart to the old TV series role. So in order to be the professor on this show you had to be a real life professor. To be the Skipper on the show you had to be a real life boat captain and so on. They then put them on a tropical island, like the TV show. If that wasn’t bad enough, they had two sets of “Castaways” compete against each other to be the next Gilligan or Skipper on the reality version. Then after all the castaways are selected they will compete against each other to see who gets “rescued” from the island and wins the Grand Prize. Somebody actually gets paid to think this stuff up? Yep and I watched it.

As if I haven’t had enough of the original and reruns through the years. It not like I haven’t seen every episode of original series ten times (including black and white) or seen the made for TV movie. I’m not even really that much of fan. But when you grow up in the late 60’s and early 70’s without cable TV and only have three local channels, you watch what you can. I was miffed when Katlin (my 15 year old) asked me what I was watching. I explained it to him and he said “Why?” Now that’s a really good question - one I wasn’t prepared to answer. But I realized that he wasn’t even familiar with the original series! So I had to explain the premise of the original so he would understand the rip off. Didn’t work, he lasted about 5 minutes. I thought this is why Nick at Night or TV Land existed, so the younger generation would be brought up to speed on these old TV shows? Guess it goes to show that only people my age must be watching what's on these channels.

It stymies me that I was able to get engrossed in a totally contrived rip off of the original. It bothers me to think that I’m probably the exact demographic they had in mind when they were thinking this crap up. I hate to be predictable. But it was like a car wreck. I couldn’t help myself – I had to look. I watched as the two professors went at it in head-to-head competition, with the loser “being banished to the other side of the island”. Say it isn’t so! Yep the Openly-Gay-Professor-Wannabee-With-Several-College-Degrees lost to the professor who looks like the Monopoly Man. I sat on the edge of my seat as one of the Skippers had what appeared to be a heart attack (no kidding) and had to be airlifted to get medical treatment. I was nearly brought to tears when he came back to say good bye to both sets of castaways. In an act of matchless class, he gave his Skippers cap to the remaining Skipper. I was hoping the gloves would come off when both sets of REAL millionaire wives got in a cat fight. The one millionaire lady whose net worth is less than three million tore into the other millionaire lady whose net worth is over 500 million because she borrowed her daughter’s feather boa without asking. Who says the rich are petty? This is engaging stuff. It was for me anyhow. I tried to pull away but I was numb with disbelief. I couldn’t believe it when one of the millionaire guys paid one of the fake Mary Ann’s twenty bucks for an hour long massage. There is no way that Thurston Howell the third would make such an indecent proposal! Nor would the “real” Mary Ann compromise herself and accept this shameless offer, she has too much dignity. Nor would Gilligan or Ginger rip their clothes for comfort like these posers did. The were able to make it through each and every half hour show without sweating or complaining, thank you very much. I guess I’m just too much of a purist. Sorry Gotta go – “Wife Swap” will be on soon.