The Date

As they entered the restaurant all eyes were on them. He was a true southern gentleman, complete with a seersucker suit with a red bow tie. And she wore her best dress with a bright floral corsage. The opportunity to go out to on a date was no small affair, particularly at their age. He was well into his eighties but was still quite spry. She may have been a few years younger then him but needed the assistance of a cane to walk. Everyone quickly noticed how kind and generous he was towards her as they slowly made their way towards their table. Conversations stopped, nods were given to tablemates as if to say “Look at this” and meals that were being eaten were temporarily halted – everyone stopped to watch. He spoke no words but his actions spoke volumes. He ensured her path to the table was clear by moving anything in their way. He then gently put the palm of his hand in the small of her back to help guide her to their table. Once at the table he made sure her chair was pulled out and helped her into her chair. Then once she was seated, he made sure she was comfortable. Everything he did, he did with tenderness and grace. His actions let her know that this night was all about her. And it showed. She was beaming, happy to be there but mostly proud to be with him. She was proud to be his girl and he was proud that she was.

As she sat in her chair, he unfolded her napkin and gently placed it in her lap. She looked up at him and smiled and he smiled back. But before returning to his seat, he leaned over and tenderly kissed her on the forehead. After returning to his seat, he reached across the table and took her hand. He then told her how lovely she looked this evening – she blushed like a young school girl and said “Oh, stop you…” By this time the waiter had brought them their drinks. Anxiously, she raised her glass to toast with him. He picked up his glass of sweet tea and gently bumped his glass against her water glass. “To us” he quietly said. “To us” she repeated. At that point I realized that I was intruding and had no right to look on. I had to look away.

My wife and I looked at each other and all we could do was smile. What do you say when you’re in the presence of this kind of love? For me it was humbling to think that after all these years that you could still care for another person the way they did. Finally after a couple of minutes we were able to speak. My wife said “Now that’s love”. And of course in my infinite wisdom I could only respond by saying “Well, it’s definitely not about the sex…” Idiot. My wife humored me by laughing and saying “Definitely not about the sex”.

But then what was it about? How much had they been through over the years to get them to this point? How much heartache, tragedy, joy and happiness were behind their words? Raising Children, Lost Jobs, War, Death - the complete unfairness of life - how much of it had they seen together? How many good times and bad times where behind their smiles? What did they see when they looked at each other? They knew each other only the way you could after being with someone for decades. I wanted to know what they knew. And hopefully someday I will but it will take a lifetime. I realized that someday I want to be that old man. Someday I want to walk into a restaurant and help my wife to the table. Someday I want the whole restaurant to stop, watch and know she’s my girl and that after all these years I'm still proud to be with her. Someday I want to sit at that table and see our life spent together reflected in her eyes.

And someday...I too want some guy who’s been married for over 20 years to realize that he still has alot to learn.