"God, give me the courage to risk, for I know that I start to die when I stop taking risks. I must remember that I don't need to prove anything; I only need to obey You."

I woke this morning to my wife reading this to me. This from one those inspirational flip things that we keep in our bathroom. Sometimes you just need to hear what you need to hear. This is what I needed to hear - on this day, at this particular time.

This past weekend has been one of the most interesting and amazing weekends I've had in a long time. I am totally and completely exhasuted - I am wiped out. But at this weekend was so (and I hate to use this word) - rewarding. I know that sounds so much like a cliche' but every second of the past three days was great. We had a birthday/going away/poker party at our house Friday night. About 20 kids showed up - it was alot fun.

Then on Saturday we canoeing with they youth group from our church. About a dozen of us went and it was a complete blast. I'm sore from head to toe. I'm even sporting a small black eye that I got from my canoe paddle. The kids had a great time and I enjoyed hanging out with them.

And today...well today was defintely different to say the least. Today was everything that I fear and love all the same time. For me (not for some) it was challenging, risk and difficult. But when it was all said and done it was wonderful. I forgot how kind and understanding people can be they see you step out of your comfort zone and try something different. It was simply awesome to be shown that kind of love. Then tonight we went back to church for youth group. Again it was great - watching the kids and hanging out with them.

This past week (not just the weekend) has been this incredible journey. I've went from the feeling completely useless to feeling like I was on top of the world. And just about every feeling in between. But when you step out of your comfort zone and risk doing something different that happens. I was feeling so low earlier this week that I just about threw in the towel. But then something interesting happened - I quit relying on myself. I was in so deep - in so far over my head that I there is no way I could get out by myself. So I let go - I had to. I realized that if I was going to do this thing that I felt God was leading me to do, he was going to have to show me how to do it. I had to let go of every thought and notion I had of how I thought it should be done. It wasn't until then that things started to turn around.

This weekend was not perfect by any strectch of the imagnination. There were alot of miscues and mistakes on my behalf. I was so exhausted this afternoon that I layed down to take a nap. As I laid there I thought about the day. I started thinking of all the things I had done wrong - I started thinking of all the mistakes I made. But then a voice inside me told me that it was Okay and that everything had went as it was supposed to it. Things went how they were intended and it wasn't meant to be 'perfect' like I had wanted. Because if things would have went perfect - no misktakes, no miscues - I would have thought that I made them that way. I would have felt compelled to take credit for something I didn't do. But it wasn't perfect - today had many, many flaws - but at the same time it accomplished what God intended. And because of that I don't deserve nor can I take any credit for anything good that happened today. Well, on to the next challenge. Kiel leaves Friday for college - which is four days. I think I see another interesting and hopefully rewarding week in front of me.

God is good...He really, really is..