IM's

I love to mess with my kids. I love to tease them, play jokes on them – whatever I can to get under their skin. I know it’s wrong and that someday they will pay me back in spades. After all I do realize that I’m talking about the same people who will someday choose my nursing home for me. Or at the very least, they will be changing my Depends for me. Anyhow, I’m willing to take my chances. At least right now I am, check with me in about 30 years and see if I think it was worth it.

My kids think that they are smarter then me. And sometimes they are…often times they are…actually most of the time they are…Okay they’re smarter than me. But even though they may be smarter than me, they can’t hold a candle to me when it comes to treachery and experience. As they like to say “I own them” in these departments. What I may lack in knowledge I make up for in sheer underhandedness. I don’t play fair. Like I always tell them “If you want a fair fight go somewhere else”. To their credit they usually don’t and they go head-to-head with me. Don’t get me wrong, they get their licks in and often put me on the ropes. But when it’s all said and done I usually end up coming out on top.

Take the latest way I have found to annoy my kids. When we turn our computer on my kids “Instant Messenger” turns on automatically. For those of you who don’t know, the Instant Messenger or IM as it’s called, allows you to have an immediate and private one-on-one conservation with another person who is on the computer the same time you are. Basically you send someone a text message and they turn around and send you one back. I have seen my kids carry on conversations that last for hours using IM. Often times I get on the computer and will be doing something and an Instant Message will appear on screen. It appears to the person who sent the message that one of my kids is on the computer…not me. Now the fun begins.

I can usually tell who sent the message. IM’s use a “screen name”, which is a name someone gives them self in lieu of their real name. By now I have learned most of my kid’s friends screen names. So when an IM is sent I know which of their friends sent it. Depending on whom the message is from and how well I know them, I’ll respond….as my kids. I’ve had quite a bit of fun doing this and have learned a few things about my boys as well. But what I really enjoy is “starting” something with one of their friends and watching my kids have to come along and straighten it out. You know, like saying something that I know will get a reaction from their friend. Like when their friend asks “What were we supposed to read in English tonight?” and I make something up. Or “Don’t you think whatshername is so hot?” depending on how I’m feeling I’ll say something like “I do, I’d like to go out with her – will you ask her for me?” or “She’s a troll…my bad I forgot you liked her”. Kathy always tells me “Oh Ron you’re sooo bad!” Am I?

The other night Kathy and I were in the computer room alone. She was on the computer checking email when an Instant Message for one of the boys appeared. What do you think she did? Do you think she ignored it and went about her business? Do you think she took the high road? No. She couldn’t help herself. She started having a conversation as one of the boys….and she loved it. She would have done this all night long if Katlin wouldn’t have walked into the room. “Hey that’s my friend! What are you doing talking to him…you pervert!” Busted in the Panhandle. She had no shame, she carried on like he hadn't said a word. At least when I'm caught red handed I accept the consequences. On the other hand maybe I could learn something from her...