What The $%#! You Doing????

I have a knack for getting myself into awkard situations. I don't know how, I guess it just comes naturally. Usually I say or do something stupid and before I know it I'm in the middle of embarrassing myself. Well I found myself in the middle of one of those situations yesterday but this time I wasn't the one who caused it. Actually, I was minding my own business for once - hard to believe I know.

Anyhow, I was at working away in my office when the phone rang. As I often do, I put the call on speaker phone so I can continue to work on my computer while talk. Rude I know but I must multi-task. I start speaking to the person on the other end of the phone as he begins to describe his computer problem. I start asking him questions to diagnosis the problem. About two minutes into the conversation, the guy across the hall comes into my office and sits down at my desk. I nod my head and acknowledge him and continue my conversation on the phone. Out of now where this guy does the strangest thing. He begins tapping his fingers on the top of my phone. Keep in mind I'm on a speaker phone and his fingers are inches away from the microphone. I do my best to act as if nothing is happening. I can tell that the person on the other end of the phone is distracted by this guy. I look at this guy with a "What the..." kind of look. But he just grins and keeps on tapping. I think I'm gonna kill him.

Finally after about 30 seconds of this I can't take it any longer. I stop my conversation with the guy on the phone and look this guy dead in the eyes. He can see it coming but he can't speak - his eyes get really big - he knows he's about to get nuked. Firmly but fairly calmly I say "Don, what in the hell are you doing?" - He smiles a nervous smile and says "Oh, I just thought I would come in and give Charlie a hard time." I look at him and inform him that I'm not talking to Charlie but that I'm speaking to someone else.

His face goes completely blank and his smile disappers. The tapping stops - he gets up and can't find the door to my office quick enough. About an hour later he works up the courage to come back in my office. He chuckles and says "I guess I made an idiot out of myself didn't I?" I tried to stop myself but I couldn't. "You certainly did - didn't you?" Once again, the chuckle disappears and a quick exit ensues.

Fast forward about three hours later. Again, I'm minding my own business and I'm working away. The same guy comes back into my office. I don't look up but I do see him out of the corner of my eye. Suddenly and quite spastically he starts swatting a fly swatter. He starts beating the crap out my walls, then my desk, then the door. He doesn't say anything - he just continues swatting. I stop working and look at him. He senses this and says "I'm not bothering you am I?" Once again I ask him the same thing I did earlier "Don, what in the hell are you doing?" He stops his swatting and says that he's been after this fly all day and he has chased him into my office. He then resumes his spastic activity - just as I was about to have him committed he swats the fly on my wall. He proudly says "He's soy sauce now!!' (haven't quite figured that out yet). He then turns and walks out leaving dead fly matter on my wall.

I have got to start locking my door.