The Odometer of Life

As you have probably noticed I haven't updated in awhile (Thank you for that insight Cpt. Obvious). Actually there is good reason, I've been out of town for the better part of the last couple of weeks. I was working out of our facility in Newnan, GA - about 30 miles south of Atlanta. Anyhow, because of this I haven't had the opportunity to update like I wanted. But I'm back now and things are getting back to normal. Well as normal as 'normal' is.

On my drive home from Newnan this past Friday I ended up doing something a little different to pass the time. The rental car that I had been driving was pretty new. When I picked it up it only had a little over a thousand miles. As I began my return trip I checked the odometer to see what the starting mileage would be. I noticed that as I was leaving the hotel it said "1958". I kind of chuckled as I headed towards the interstate. A couple of minutes and looked down and saw that it now read "1960". Again I sort of smiled to myself and thought that in one mile the mileage of the car would be the same as my birth year - "1961". Sure enough "1961" came around on the odometer. As I looked at my birth year on the odometer, I started thinking back to that time. I started thinking about my birth, where I was born, the stories I had heard about it etc. When I glanced down again I noticed the odometer now said "1962". Again my wind wandered back to the year 1962 in my life. I thought of the stories I heard, where I lived and so on. I'll be the first to admit the years 1961-1965 a bit fuzzy to me since I was only a child. But anyhow I continued watching the odometer play back each year of my life. And each new year that appeared took me back to that time in my life.

When "1972" came up I remembered being in 6th grade and that our high school basketball went to state. When "1977" came up I remembered getting my drivers license and cruising around in my car. Then "1981" rolled around, the year I met Kathy. Then "1982" the year I joined the Air Force and moved to California. "1983" brought a smile to my face as I thought about our wedding and studio apartment that we moved into. "1985" was another banner year as we moved from California to the St.Louis area and Kiel was born. I thought of moving to Belgium when "1987" appeared. I couldn't believe it when "1989" appeared, that was when we moved from Belgium to Panama City and Katlin was born. When "1992" rolled around I thought of how I got out of the Air Force, got a new job and bought my first house.

This little exercise continued up until the present "2005" and I thought about all the things that happened since "1961". I remembered both the good and the bad - the happy and the sad - all of it. I remembered things that I haven't thought about in years. Keep in mind this whole process took about 45 minutes. I was also amazed at how fast it went by and I'm not talking about the miles odometer. As quickly as the miles rolled by on the odometer so have the years of my life - they've just flown by. And that made me a bit sad. But then something interesting happened, I kept watching the odometer. When "2007" appeared I remembered thinking that would be the year Katlin graduates from High School. "2011" appeared and made me wonder if Kiel would be married or if I would be a grandparent. It also reminded me that I would be 50 years old! When "2018" appeared I thought about my kids wives and children. I thought of how old my boys would be, where did they live - and wondered if they would be happy. As I watched the "future" go by, I became happy again. I was excited of all that is before in my life. I thought of all I have to look forward to in the coming years.

Somewhere between "2041" and "2061" - I realized that it was probably over for me. And I thought about that as well. But even then I couldn't help but think about my kids and my kids kids and where would they be during that time and point in their lives. All of it made me think that it's been a good life and that I am very fortunate and blessed. I can't help but be thankful for every minute of it. If you get a minute, particularly during this time of year, take a couple minutes and think back on the odometer of your life. I'll think you'd agree that a lot has happened and that you have been blessed. But I think you'll see that you also have a lot to look forward to in the coming years.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Closer To Home

Last night as I was driving, I suddenly realized that I wanted to go home. Not to my house but I wanted to go home. I’m talking about the place that I was made for, the place I was meant for. The place created for me – built for me with love and blood. The place that I realized…I long for. And it all started with a song:

Your letter said that you were leaving - but you didn't know how long
I have never stopped believing - That one day you would return

I hadn’t picked up this particular CD in years. I really didn’t care for it much after I bought it so I rarely listened to it. And I cared even less for this particular song. Normally I would “skip” through this song when it came on, but not today. Why I was now listening to this song was beyond me. Maybe that’s what it was: Maybe I had heard this song before but I had never listened until now. Regardless, I’m glad that I chose to listen today.

And though the waiting is the hardest - Part of everything I do
I do confess it's getting better - Knowing I will be with you

As I started listening to the words, I started to feel sad. You know how you feel when you miss someone really bad and you want to be with them but you can’t? That’s how I felt – I was sad because I missed my home. For about ten seconds I had this overwhelming feeling of wanting to be there – with Him. I also had feelings of sadness, separation, longing, expectation and happiness all rolled into one thinking about Home. It was almost to much - both my soul and eyes welled up thinking about it. At that moment, at that instance – I longed for home.

It's alright - It's okay - I won't worry about tomorrow
For it brings me one more day - Closer than I was to you

I do long for home, I also long for more. More than this world has to offer. More than sickness and pain. More than heartache and troubles. More is out there and it was speaking to me. It was letting me know to whom I belonged and where I belonged. More reminded me that I don’t belong here and I don’t belong to this world. The Bible says that He “Has set eternity in the hearts of men”. Frankly speaking that’s what I felt: eternity set on my heart. I felt eternity calling to me, reminding me of home. Calling me to where I belong. Calling me to More. It was like a summer breeze washing across my face. It was like catching a glimpse of something – you’re not sure what you saw but you know you saw something. It was like a gentle touch on the shoulder but you turn around and no one is there. You can’t see it but you can feel it and you know it’s there. You also know it’s real. That’s what I felt: the realization that eternity was reminding me my Father loves me and wants to be with me.

Now the question isn't "will you" - What I want to know is "when"
If it's one day or a million - I will wait for you 'til then

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a death wish. Actually I hope and pray that I have many more years here in this place. There is so much unfinished work - so much to yet see and do – I don’t want to leave just yet(Lord Willing). I want to see my kids finish school, fall in love and marry. I want to see them have children. I want become a grandparent. I want to retire and travel. And I want to grow old with my wife. There is so much that I want do that I don’t want to leave just yet. But I also want to go home. I know that day will come soon enough so I’m not rushing it. But home is calling me, reminding me that’s where I belong. Not here, this world is not my home.

So I'm holding on to your words - And the promises you've made
There is not one you have broken - There's not one I didn't take

So in the meantime, I'll keep living the life and I’ll keep looking towards home. I'll keep reading His letter and I'll keep clinging to His promises. I’ll also remember that home is out there – I won’t forget it. I can’t forget it. How can I? How can I forget what I was created for? How can forget my destiny? My destiny is to be with Him – forever. Home with my Father.

Your letter said that you were leaving - But you didn't know how long
I will never stop believing - I know one day you will return
It's alright - It's okay - I won't worry about tomorrow
For it brings me one more day - Closer than I was to you

Each day is one day closer to home...

"It's Alright" words and music by Third Day

Weekend Update

We just got back from visiting Kiel in Orlando a couple of hours ago. What a trip and weekend it was. The entire drive home I thought of what I was going to write but I didn't come up with much. Not that a lot didn't happen cause it did. Actually the opposite is true. So much good stuff happened I'm just not sure I can do it justice. To say we had great weekend visiting Kiel would be a serious understatement.

We left real early Friday morning (4:00AM) and got to Orlando around 11:00AM. We met Kiel at his apartment. Keep in mind this is the first time we have been back to Orlando or his apartment since we dropped him off in August. He said he had cleaned his apartment but we debated him on that point. (Sorry Kiel - had to "bust your balls" one last time). After giving Kiel a hard time about the cleanliness of his apartment and some hygiene issues, we decided to go get something to eat. Kiel took us to one his new favorites "The Pita Pit" - a build your own Pita sandwich place. It was pretty good. After that we decide to go shopping for a bit. Kiel needed some new clothes since his room mates ink pen exploded in the dryer and got all over his clothes. So after shopping for a few hours Kiel took us to our hotel room. Since it was Family weekend and Homecoming weekend all the hotels near campus we full. Kiel was able to get us a room at the Marriott near the airport all the while taking advantage of his employee discount. Kiel and Katlin went back to Kiel's apartment from some 'brother time' while Kathy and I checked out the hotel and got ready for dinner.

The boys came and picked Kathy and I up for dinner. Kiel had made arrangements for us to have dinner at the restaurant where he works. Kiel works at a restaurant called "Primo" and it is located in the J.W. Marriott Grand Lakes Resort. I want to try describe this dinner experience without expounding on the truth or bragging - but I don't know if I can. The resort where Kiel works can only be described as incredible. It's not the type of place that I am accustomed to visiting or staying at - it is very beautiful and very, very expensive.

Primo is an amazing restaurant. Everything is organically grown on the grounds of the hotel. So everything and I do mean everything is fresh and natural. That's very important to understand cause if you don't you can miss the full impact of this place. Let me stop here and say this. I am not an expert on food nor do I claim to be. However, over the years I have traveled on business and pleasure a fair amount and been to my fair share of "nice" restaurants. If you would have asked me before this evening if I knew what "Fine Dining" was I would have laughed at you and told you Yes. I can only say I thought I knew what Fine Dining was - this experience would set a new standard in dining that I didn't know existed.

Kiel introduced us to his friends and co-workers at Primo. Most notablely was Kiel's boss and Primo's Matre De - Eddie. Eddie was the person who hired Kiel and has taken him under his wing so to speak. Eddie also made sure that our dinner on this evening would be nothing short of perfect. Eddie and the entire staff went to great lengths to make this one of the most memorable - if not the most memorable meal we've ever had as a family. I simply don't think anything could have any better than what it was.

I would descibe to you what we ate but I'm not sure I know. But here's what I can tell you for sure. I tasted the best olive oil I have ever had - from Tunisa I believe Kiel said. We all tried Caviar for the first time - different. We ordered a couple of appetizer - but since Kiel worked there the Chef of duty pulled out all the stops. Besides the appetizer we ordered they brought out a couple others for us to try. By the time our entrees arrived we had eaten half the stuff on the menu. We were like kids in a candy store. It was fun. Have you ever had one of those experiences where everything was just right? By that I mean you're with the right people, in the right place and eveything works together perfectly. This was that type of evening.

Anyhow Kiel and Eddie gave us the best dining experience at a restaurant we've ever had. The meal was fabulous and the service was impeccable. Kiel is very fortunate to be working with a great group of people and in such amazing environment. Can't wait to go back again sometime. After dinner we went to a late movie - dinner took 2 1/2 hours. Went and saw "Jarhead" - it was a very different movie. If you've ever been in the military you could relate otherwise I'm not sure you would get it. Got home late and we crashed.

On Saturday we shopping again. Kat wanted to go to the "Guitar Center" which is a music store and buy some stuff for his drums. He was in heaven and didn't want to leave. Kat parted with much of his hard earned money and bought a bunch of cool drum stuff. Kiel then took us to a very upscale mall where we hung out for a few hours. We ate dinner at the Cheesecake Factory - and it was okay. During dinner we decided to go to the UCF Homecoming football game at the Citrus Bowl. We made it to the game and got there at the beginning of the 2nd quarter. The game was fun and UCF won and is elegible for a college bowl game. We enjoyed watching all the drunk kids and cheering for UCF - it was alot of fun. We got back to the hotel around 9:30PM - the boys went back to Kiel's apt. for some video games and late night Hot Wings. This morning we met the boys at Kiels and then got something to eat at the California Pizza Kitchen before heading back home.

The entire weekend was great. Kiel is a great host - who went to great lengths to ensure we were comfortable and content. Thanks for all you did Kiel - it was great. Anyhow it was a blast and I can't wait til we go down and seem him again. But back to work tomorrow. I leave Wednesday for Atlanta for a few days. I have two days of meetings to go to and will be back sometime early Friday evening (6ish). I'm not looking forward to it but I am well rested from this weekend so I should be able to get through it. I'm sure I've bored you enough but I wanted to get this posted. Hope everyone is well and I'll post more later....

Ramblings

It's cold and rainy out tonight. My wife is working late. So my son and I had chilli for dinner, which is strange cause I don't like chili. But it's cold outside and it sounded good. Chili, frito's and cheese becomes Chili Pie. Chili is hot and eating something warm sounded good. But it's still chili and I don't like chili. Should of made beef stew.

Halloween has come and gone. I'm pretty ambivilent(sp) when it comes to Halloween. Really don't care about it one way or another. Not that I have a problem with it cause I don't. But it does nothing for me nor do I get upset by it. Just another day as far as I'm concerned except the kids asking for candy are wearing masks.

Saw a complete rainbow today. I mean complete - from end to end and the whole arch. It was incredible. I saw it from my office. I sat and looked at and remembered that a rainbow is God's sign(covenant/promise) He made to never destroy the world again by a flood. But more than that I sat there looking at this rainbow remembering that He's a God of His word who will never break His promise. Any promise. I liked that rainbow - I liked what it made me think of.

I feel very matter of fact tonight (in case you couldn't tell). Tried writing something that was on my mind but my heart wasn't into it - so I said forget it. Need to go - my wife's home. I think she had a long day. Probably needs her feet rubbed. Oh yeah - it's beeb a year ago today that we closed/moved into this house. Maybe if she's not too tired we'll open the champagne I bought last year to celebrate buying the house that we never drank. It's probably aged and better than what it was last year....kind of like me (kidding).

I'll try this again later...