Visitors

Well my mother-in-law (Lana) and brother-in-law (Keith) arrived yesterday from Iowa. Kathy and Katlin picked them up from the Tallahassee airport. After stopping at the beauty supply house and for lunch at On The Border they made it home around 3:30PM. After they arrived at the house they just kind of hung out. Keith was hungry for some local seafood so we went ate dinner at Boon Docks Restaurant in North Bay. It's kind of a different place, off the beaten path a bit but it has great seafood. They all seemed to enjoy it. We came home and hung out for awhile. Lana and Keith were tired from getting up early to go to the airport so they crashed around 10:00PM. Lana tried to stay up to watch her favorite show (Ellen) but her eyes wouldn't let her. So they slept in today and tried to catch up on their sleep. I don't believe that they are up to too much today, at least they weren't when I went home for lunch. At Keith's request, Kathy is going to make manicotti for dinner tonight - she's a sweet big sister. Kathy has taken off work while they are here which is cool. I'll be off tomorrow (Friday) so we can all go hang out and spend some time together. I heard talk that we may go to Mexico Beach or Destin tomorrow - not exactly sure what we'll do. Either direction we go the weather will be crap so it doesn't matter. Not sure what we'll do this weekend probably just hang out. Will go to church on Sunday morning and then to Burning House on Sunday Night. Keith is very excited about going to Burning House with us again. He went last time he was here and he really enjoyed it. Not much else is happening. We'll enjoy having them here.

Know What You Want

This is an example of the type conversation I have with my computer users. This is a composite conversation that I can have with about 3-4 of my "special" computer users. Although it’s not a actual conversation it is typical of the type of things they will ask me. Kathy read this before I posted it and said that she has the same type of thing happen when people come in to have their hair done. It's good to know it's not just me. It's always a good practice to know what you want BEFORE you ask for it.

User: I need help.
Me: Okay, what do you need?
User: I need you to run a report for me.
Me: Do you remember the name of the report?
User: You know, it was the one you ran last time.
Me: Sorry but I don’t remember which one that was. Could you be more specific?
User: No…I mean I can’t.
Me: What was it for? (confused)
User: It was for me. (Smiles broadly and pokes thumb in chest)
Me: I know it was for you but what did you use it for?
User: For my job. (Duhhh…)
Me: Hmmm…what did the report have on it?
User: Well…it was the one that had the information on it.
Me: And what information was that? (slightly perturbed)
User: It ummh…had the stuff about the….and then it had the….you know?
Me: Let’s try this, do you have a copy of the last report I ran you?
User: No….it’s been a few years since you ran it for… (realizes what he just said)
Me: A few years…wow…so it’s been awhile since I ran it for you?
User: Yes I believe so.
Me: And who was the President of the United States the last time I ran this for you?
User: (completely dumbfounded – wizzes right over his head)
Me: Okay..(pauses, rubs eyes and thinks to himself “What an idiot!)
Me: Let me see if understand this. You want me to run you a report. But you don’t remember what the name of the report was. Nor can you remember what it was used for or what information was on this report. You don’t have a copy of it because the last time I ran it for you Ronald Regan was President. Is that pretty much it or have I missed something?
User: No, that sounds about right.
Me: The only real piece of information that you have given me that was useful was when you walked in my office and said “I need help.” And you’re right you need help…lots of it. The kind of help that I can’t give you!
User: (stares at the floor)
Me: (looks for something to throw…..then begins to feel bad).
User: Sooo…
Me: Sooo? (raises eyebrows)
User: So, when can I get my report?
Me: (drops head on desk and begins to weep)

The One That Got Away

He would have never imagined that it would come to this. Never did he think he would be saying good bye to something he cared for, something he loved so much. He never realized how difficult letting go really was. But he knew it was the right thing to do. In order for him to become who he was meant to be, he had to let go. He had to give up on this. As much as he loved this he knew it wasn't good for him. It was actually hurting him, holding him back from greater things. And he knew this, which is why he was able to muster the courage to do this. But it was hard and it hurt.

The time had come and he knew what needed to be done. Now it was just a matter of doing it. He glanced at it one last time and all the memories came flooding back. It was so beautiful; in his mind's eye it looked perfect but in his heart he knew it wasn't. It looked back at him. He sensed it beckoning him not to do this; "Please don't do this, I promise it will be different". But he knew better, ultimately he knew that this was for the best, not only for him but for it as well. He knew that once he let go it would drift away and never return. Once gone, always gone - his no more. And that's what made this so difficult. The moment of truth was at hand. He prayed a quick prayer "Please Lord, don't let this be the one that got away." His heart reminded him one last time that this wasn't the one he needed; he was doing the right thing. This simply wasn't meant to be.

He forced a smile, said good bye and then...let go.

Art by Kiel - Words by Ron

It's Your Turn

This is Kiel's self portrait for his Computer Imaging II Class. He called it "It's Your Turn". Please look closely at the picture and notice who Kiel is playing poker with.

Cheater

"Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat.”

Now I’ll be the first to admit that the aforementioned quote is not very good advice. Actually it violates everything that I believe in and teach my kids. But I have to admit, I like to cheat. Not in the way you’re thinking. Not on my wife or taking short cuts in my job or life. Maybe it would better for me to say that I always don’t like to play fair - when it's in fun and I can get under someone's skin. I like to pull the rug from underneath people when they least expect it. I like to see people’s reactions when I do or say something they would never expect me to do. I like to watch ‘em squirm. Button-Pushing, String Pulling, Crank Yanking – call it what you will but I call it fun.

For example, if my wife and I are having an argument and I notice that she’s getting the upper hand. I’ll play dirty. I’ll simply stop in the middle of the conversation and stare at her hair. That’s right I’ll just clam up and lock on to her follicles. Why? Because it drives her nuts. She can’t stand it. Remember she is a beautician, hair is what she does. Because of this, she is very conscious of how her hair looks. “What are you looking at?” “What’s wrong with my hair? I know it looks horrible…it’s the humidity”. Then she’ll tell me to “Knock it off” or “Quit it” in some colorful fashion. She usually ends up hitting me on the arm too. “You’re such an expletive; you know I can’t stand it.” I know that’s why I do it. By the way, did you notice we’re not arguing anymore?

A while back Kathy and I were in Target and this little kid about four years old was acting up – big-time. He was trying to catch up to his mother while pushing a shopping cart. All the time he was screaming, wailing and carrying on. His mom did absolutely nothing but what this kid really needed was a old fashioned ‘whuppin’. I kept watching this little dude as kept coming closer to me. I stopped at the end of the row and waited for him to come near me. His mom was two aisles over from me and he was determined to find her. All the time he is still crying and wailing. When he went to turn the corner where she was, our eyes met. I quickly checked to make sure no one was looking. Then I made a stern face and mouthed the words “Knock it off…Now!” and pointed my finger at him in a “I’m serious” sort of way. This scared the crap out of him and shut him up. Didn’t hear a peep out of him the rest of the time we were in the store. Kathy chastised me by saying “Ron, what if his mom sees you!” to which I replied “Good, then maybe she’ll know what do the next time he acts up”.

I’m notorious for wrestling with my boys. Ever since I can remember, I have got on the floor and wrestled with them. But as they have gotten bigger and stronger it’s not as easy for me to take them like I used to. So now that I’ve gotten older and weaker I have to find ways to compensate for this. I’ll usually resort to some sort of masculine move like pinching or pushing on pressure points. My favorite is to stiffen my thumb and push it in between their ribs or into the side of their neck. I even have a name for it I call it the “Thumb Drive”. (I’m a computer geek what can I say) Any how this “move” will usually swing things in my favor pretty quick. My boys will usually call me a “Sissy” or a “Cheater”. To which I’ll simply laugh and remind them that they are no longer kicking my butt. This makes them even madder so they’ll just grit their teeth and walk away. When if you can, lose if you must but always cheat….as long as it doesn’t matter...and no one gets hurt(especially me).

A Bit Nervous

I’m a bit nervous. Lately I’ve been spending a fair amount of time thinking about the future. Actually I haven’t been thinking about my future per se but my oldest son Kiel’s future. In three short months he’ll finish up and graduate from the local community college. Then sometime this summer he’s off to some university, probably the University of Central Florida in Orlando to complete his studies. Until recently I’ve been fine with this. But I have to tell you as time passes and his leaving becomes more of a reality I realize that….I’m a bit nervous. I know that my faith teaches me not to worry or be anxious about anything but frankly I am.

I’m nervous that once he leaves that he’ll forget to call to check-in and make sure that I’m doing okay without him here. He’s been here for me for every day the last 20 years so I’m not exactly sure how I’ll act when he’s gone. I’m worried that my telephone number will flash on the caller ID of his phone and he won’t answer it because ‘it’s just my dad’. Or that he’ll forget to brush his teeth and then as luck would have it, meet the girl of his dreams. I’m concerned that he’ll leave his ready-to-mail car payment on his dresser only to notice it two weeks later when he is desperately searching for a pair of clean underwear. I’m troubled that he’ll meet someone who doesn’t share his views on kindness and generosity that they’ll take advantage of him. I’m worried that he’ll eat nothing but junk food, that he’ll drive too fast and that he’ll wash his colored and white clothes together. I’m worried that I haven’t taught him all that I should or could have. But what I’m really worried about are the lessons that he’ll need to learn that only life can teach him. The hard lessons – You know the difficult, painful, hurtful kind of lessons that come at a cost. The kind of lessons that can come only by him living his own life and making his own mistakes. The lessons he must and will learn - this is what I’m nervous about.

But then there are some things that I’m not nervous about. These are things that I know are true – unshakable – rock solid. Things I can hang my hat on. There is no doubt in my mind that my son will leave home knowing he is loved. He will leave here knowing full well that we (his mother and I) can’t possibly love him anymore than we already do. He also knows that our love for him is not predicated on his performance. Regardless of what he does or what kind of mistakes he makes, he’ll know that we will always love him. Over the years we have repeatedly told both our boys that we love them for who they are…not for what they do. No matter how big the mistake may seem at the time, we’re hopefully that this kind of love will remind him that we love him and will lead him home if need be. But even more important than our love, my son will leave this house knowing he is loved by God. He’ll leave knowing that although my love for him is not perfect, God’s is. He’ll understand that even though I may not be there, that God is and he’ll always be able to count on Him. He’ll leave knowing whose child he is and who he belongs to. And because of this, because of Love (i.e. God), I’ll be able to let him go.

I know that my son will be fine. I know that eventually I’ll be fine. I also know many of you have been through this before and will tell me that is going to be okay and not to worry. Which it will be, it will be okay and I shouldn’t worry. I know this. I also realize that it’s probably not going to be as bad as I’m making it out to be. I’m simply a nervous parent who is having difficulty letting go. But I will do it; I’ll let him go so he can become what he is supposed to…a man. A man who will always be my little boy, who will always be loved. But in the meantime…I’m a bit nervous.

IM's

I love to mess with my kids. I love to tease them, play jokes on them – whatever I can to get under their skin. I know it’s wrong and that someday they will pay me back in spades. After all I do realize that I’m talking about the same people who will someday choose my nursing home for me. Or at the very least, they will be changing my Depends for me. Anyhow, I’m willing to take my chances. At least right now I am, check with me in about 30 years and see if I think it was worth it.

My kids think that they are smarter then me. And sometimes they are…often times they are…actually most of the time they are…Okay they’re smarter than me. But even though they may be smarter than me, they can’t hold a candle to me when it comes to treachery and experience. As they like to say “I own them” in these departments. What I may lack in knowledge I make up for in sheer underhandedness. I don’t play fair. Like I always tell them “If you want a fair fight go somewhere else”. To their credit they usually don’t and they go head-to-head with me. Don’t get me wrong, they get their licks in and often put me on the ropes. But when it’s all said and done I usually end up coming out on top.

Take the latest way I have found to annoy my kids. When we turn our computer on my kids “Instant Messenger” turns on automatically. For those of you who don’t know, the Instant Messenger or IM as it’s called, allows you to have an immediate and private one-on-one conservation with another person who is on the computer the same time you are. Basically you send someone a text message and they turn around and send you one back. I have seen my kids carry on conversations that last for hours using IM. Often times I get on the computer and will be doing something and an Instant Message will appear on screen. It appears to the person who sent the message that one of my kids is on the computer…not me. Now the fun begins.

I can usually tell who sent the message. IM’s use a “screen name”, which is a name someone gives them self in lieu of their real name. By now I have learned most of my kid’s friends screen names. So when an IM is sent I know which of their friends sent it. Depending on whom the message is from and how well I know them, I’ll respond….as my kids. I’ve had quite a bit of fun doing this and have learned a few things about my boys as well. But what I really enjoy is “starting” something with one of their friends and watching my kids have to come along and straighten it out. You know, like saying something that I know will get a reaction from their friend. Like when their friend asks “What were we supposed to read in English tonight?” and I make something up. Or “Don’t you think whatshername is so hot?” depending on how I’m feeling I’ll say something like “I do, I’d like to go out with her – will you ask her for me?” or “She’s a troll…my bad I forgot you liked her”. Kathy always tells me “Oh Ron you’re sooo bad!” Am I?

The other night Kathy and I were in the computer room alone. She was on the computer checking email when an Instant Message for one of the boys appeared. What do you think she did? Do you think she ignored it and went about her business? Do you think she took the high road? No. She couldn’t help herself. She started having a conversation as one of the boys….and she loved it. She would have done this all night long if Katlin wouldn’t have walked into the room. “Hey that’s my friend! What are you doing talking to him…you pervert!” Busted in the Panhandle. She had no shame, she carried on like he hadn't said a word. At least when I'm caught red handed I accept the consequences. On the other hand maybe I could learn something from her...

The View

There is this really beautiful place that I drive by on my way home from work every night. It’s a small piece of land that sits right on the bay. It’s located in a relativity undeveloped part of the county on Deer Point Dam road. There are rows of trees that sit between the road and the bay which block the view of the water. But at this particular spot the trees stop and begin right after it ends. So when you’re driving you see trees then all of the sudden it opens up and there is this beautiful view on the water. However, as suddenly it begins, it ends because the trees come back into sight and once again block the view of the bay. The unobstructed view of the bay last only a few seconds. But what a few seconds they can be.

I can’t tell you how much I look forward to passing by this spot every night on my way home. This time of year has the sun setting on my drive home. So about the time that I get to this location, the sunset is at its peak. By themselves the colors of the sky and wispiness clouds are beautiful. But what makes this place so magnificent is the water. The reflection of the colors of the sunset and water work together in a way I’ve never seen before. Sometimes it’s hard to tell where the sky ends and the water starts, they just melt together. Then there are the shadows from the trees and contours of the land that come into play. They help frame it and put it all into perspective. It kind of like jig saw puzzle. By themselves the pieces are interesting but you can’t make too much out of them. But put them together and you’ve got a masterpiece.

You could miss this place if you didn’t pay attention and I’m sure many folks have. You could easily drive by and have no idea of what you just missed. What I like about this place is what it does to me. It doesn’t matter what kind of day I’ve had or what's on my mind at the time. Catching a glimpse of this spot soothes my soul. In those few moments I am reminded of how fortunate I am. These "reminders" just sort of flash through my mind like you often see in the movies. To me, this place is like a secret. Sometimes I feel like no one else knows it’s there but me. It’s almost like God is telling me “Okay, Ron – just between me and you, here’s what I made for you today.” (I’m sure he doesn’t say that but its how I feel). I often feel like He’s made this beautiful painting that speaks just to me and all I have to do is look for it and enjoy it. It’s like I’m getting this wonderful gift each and every day. And perhaps I am. Maybe God knows that I need these few seconds to be reminded that He’s there and that I’m on His mind. I'd like to think that. I'd like to think that He cares enough for me to remind me that regardless of my circumstance that it's going to alright because He's cares and He's in control. But then again maybe I’m not exactly sure what it means but I do know how it makes me feel.

Bowling

News flash to whoever is charge of programming at the television networks. Bowling is not a spectator sport. Please don’t insult my intelligence and try to make me believe it is. Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against going bowling. At times, I do believe it has its proper place in our society. It’s been my experience bowling is something you do either after prom or when there are no good movies in the theater or Blockbuster is completely wiped out. It’s also great for little kid's birthday parties if the roller skating rink is closed. Sometimes I’ll even suggest it when we have company from out of town and I must find a way to get out of the house. But trying to convince me to grab a bag of chips and a cold one to watch some overweight dude try to pick up the seven-ten split is ridiculous. I’d rather watch someone get a root canal on the Dental Channel (Tuesday nights 8:00PM – Just kidding, I made that up so don’t bother looking for it).

But don’t try to pawn bowling off on me as the “Next Big Thing”. Bowling is not the new NASCAR. I would venture to say that the same people who pulled off the NASCAR marketing coup are behind this stroke of genius as well. You can tell football season is over and the network execs are scrambling to find something to fill the space. Their task is probably even more difficult since hockey is on strike. Most of you probably didn’t even know there was a hockey strike did you? I guess that’s just shows how much hockey is missed. At least with hockey there is some action in between the fights. Be honest, if you ever watched hockey it was only to see a fight. My wife couldn’t tell you the first thing about hockey rules or strategy but she knows if she watches long enough she’ll see two guys knock the stew out of each other. But hey, now that we have "Desperate Housewives" - who needs hockey? Now that's a spectator sport.

Anyway, back to this bowling thing. I’m shocked and amazed, perhaps dismayed is a better word, that its come to this. I know that bowling has been on TV for many years but now they are applying the full-court marketing press to it. They are trying to make it seem ultra competitive and cut-throat. I have a difficult time looking at a guy in a gas station attendant’s shirt and thinking of him as a serious competitor. They even have taken out commercials to make bowling seem hip and cool. Now there's an impossible task. Trying to make bowling look cool is like trying to make me look cool. It ain't happening. Then there's "The Attitude" they try to give these guys. You've got the game faces, fist pumping and posing you see after every strike. It’s not like these guys just got around a 300 pound offensive line man and sacked the quarterback for third and long in front of 60,000 screaming fans. What's the big deal? I get strikes all the time when I play our bowling game on the computer! You knocked the pins over with your little ball – get over yourself. What’s next, spiking the bowling ball? Hey...now that would be cool. Maybe then I might be able to see someone get hurt…someone who deserves it.